She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
