erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
