I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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