The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
