the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
