no, he came in my armpit
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
