Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
