what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
