Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
