i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
