Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. đ
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
how do you say âi know we havenât hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other dayâ without coming on too strong
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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