Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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