How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
