Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Small penises have feelings too.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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