Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
vagina is talking i cant
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.