we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
