Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need water and some morals
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
