im about as happy as oj after his trial
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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