I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
