2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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