his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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