So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
