I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
