You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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