Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Randomize
