The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
