mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
