Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
