I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Please, let me fuck your mom
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize