He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
