I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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