Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
