I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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