I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize