Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
