he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
