I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
