I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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