I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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