wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
