He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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