Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
