Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize