Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
