So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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