Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize