i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
