This girl is more easily done than said...
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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