Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I need a burrito and a hug.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
