I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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