The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
