he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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