Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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