he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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