Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
