So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So much rum. So many feels.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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