I think I died a long time ago.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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