glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't turn off my feet"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
