Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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