Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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