Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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