i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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