my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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