covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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