3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we made out on top of his cat.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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