I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
