If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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